Can't Blame the Goat

August 19

So I’m pretty sure every day here I have a moment or a thousand where I just think to myself oh my goodness what is happening.  Where am I?

Not like in a bad way. More of like a this is interesting.

So I just thought I’d share with you a few of those moments so you can walk in my shoes and such. Just know my shoes are filthy because there aren’t any sidewalks.

Tonight while I was eating carrot bread and drinking lemongrass tea (um yum) we found a giant tarantula chilling on the ceiling.

Yesterday some guys killed a ginormous venomous snake they found hanging in Candace and Courtney’s house. I went over to see it and its head was chopped off but its body was still slithering around and coiling up and it was incredibly weird and strange and I’m still not sure if I’m convinced it’s dead.

At church last Sabbath I had the bright idea of drinking almost my entire water bottle during the sermon. My water bottle is rather large. So then I was all like thinking I was going to explode and stuff and I finally asked the lady who lives nearby if she had a bathroom I could use and she said she did. So I followed her out into a jungle field of trees and grass and sticks and then she left me there. So that was pretty fun.

Dani and I found a bug in our room that literally looks like a turkey you see for sale in the street markets here. Later, when we saw it a second time in the same place we named it Benedict. It hasn’t come back yet but I’m thinking it’s as close to a pet as I’ll get here so yeah. I have a pet.

Also we saw a cockroach eating its old skin so that was gross.

Teaching is getting a lot better. I feel like my kids are actually learning something despite the language barrier. They’re finally catching on to how to subtract when you borrow ten and I taught them how to tally when you cross the fifth tally because they didn’t know about that. Also I’m having each of my language students write their own book. We did a practice one in class yesterday together called “El Triste Cornejo.” It was about a rabbit that was really sad because it missed its mom because its mom made good food. I drew the pictures for it so basically the pictures are terrible but it was great fun and my students loved it. Also I miss my mom and she makes great food.

Ashley and Kevin are here! Yay! So now there are so many missionaries working here which is wonderful and also Ashley was a dear and gave me a pair of her basketball shorts and oh my goodness I’m so excited to wear something that doesn’t touch the ground.

Um last night I stopped by the kitchen to get some water and discovered darling Carol making banana oreo smoothies. I melted and she made one for myself and also one to take to Dani. So then I literally went running to the house because I was so excited and Dani and I had a fabulous feast. And then Andrew was walking by and he joined in and wow I love food.

Today I cut down giant plants with a machete in a field full of banana trees. Also I found my husband and his name is Tarzan.

Oh the other night Lui Miguel and Fermin refused to get out of bed after I asked them to several times. So I had to set my foot down and all that fun stuff so while everyone played in Casa Grande Saturday night I sent them out to machete with flashlights. It was my first time officially punishing the kids and, well, now when I ask them to get out of bed they do so I’m thinking it worked pretty well. But it was definitely interesting as I’m a bit more accustomed to time-outs.

The other day I was washing my face and little Henry was sitting on the counter and he asked me what the soap was for. I said it was good for my face and he said, “Because it’s red?” Which is just one of many comments the kids have made about my face being red. So yeah, in case you were curious, apparently my face is still red.

Today my adorable boys broke a pen and used the ink to paint their toys blue, and in the midst of that also painted some of the floor. I’m sure that’s bad and I’m making them clean and stuff but honestly I’m pretty impressed with their ingenuity. Personally I would have gone to Walmart and bought blue paint.

And, well, then there’s the goat. So basically I don’t even know where to begin with the goat. So much has happened with the goat.

Like. So much.

I guess I should start with when I was lying in my tent bed safe from bugs and heard Dani in the house saying “Darian. What. What is happening. Is this real. Darian. What is this.” And so then I thought the world was ending or something so I was like TELL ME TELL ME and then she was all like, “I just saw a goat.”

Well personally I’ve seen goats before so I wasn’t all that enthused and so she kind of had to make me get out of bed to look at the goat. Cuz honestly I was tired and didn’t care much about the goat.

But after I got up and looked out the window to see the goat I was super excited and like WHOA THERE’S A GOAT. LET’S GET A PICTURE WITH THE GOAT.

And then Dani warned me that goats charge and I didn’t believe her. Until we got closer to the goat and it charged. Then I believed her.

So we booked it into the house and pretty soon it started raining and all our boys came home and we spent the next thirty minutes watching our boys pretend to fight the goat.

But then Andrew and Kevin decided to for real take on the goat. And so now we have a fabulous video of these two charging at the goat and eventually the goat getting tired of it and literally chasing Andrew across Familia Feliz. I’m talking movie style. Like Andrew running with high knees and everyone screaming and hoping Andrew makes it.

Andrew made it.

And then come to find out later Dani was sitting in our house taking care of little Hugo who, bless his heart was so incredibly sick, when the goat just walked right in like he owned the place. Dani then proceeded to tell me it walked around a bit and then started to walk toward her and Hugo. So she put on a brave face and growled at the goat and it left. And basically that is the greatest thing in the world and I wish I could have seen it.

And, well, for three days now the goat has come back to campus.

Andrew has tied it to his motorcycle and brought it into town and tried to sell it to people.

It came back.

The boys have tackled it and kicked it and, well, been boys.

It came back.

And today I saw the volunteer Omar literally swing it around by its horns and then throw it.

I was like oh my goodness what is happening. Where am I?

But today this darling little goat is tied to a tree outside Casa Grande. It eats our grass and we give it water. And it makes really obnoxious loud sounds at night.

But it just kept coming back.

But honestly? I can’t say I blame the goat. Because this place is pretty great. And even though sometimes I feel knocked down and spun around I’m glad I get to wake up to another day of rain and heat and jungles and kids that I am beginning to love with every part of me. So if someone drug me away on a motorcycle? Well, I’m thinking I’d come back, too.