Journey

(September 4)

So much has happened this week. Where do I even begin?

I guess I could announce that I have lice. So that’s pretty exciting. Bienvenidos, little guys. Hope you like chillin out in my scalp. Also get out.

Or maybe I could share that I just bathed in Benadryl. Pretty much my feet are raw from scratching due to the mammoth ants that live around here. Oh also the other day I was wondering how in the world my nails were always so dirty. Like I would give myself a spa (which consists of picking all the dirt out of my nails. Livin it up, I know.) and then two minutes later they would be caked in dirt again. But soon after, in the midst of one of my scratch attacks (this consists of forgetting about the world for a while and itching myself raw), I realized why my nails were gross. Because I was scratching myself and I am caked in dirt.

I AM DISGUSTING.

But the good news is Dani and I bought six bottles of Febreeze when we were in Santa Cruz. Straight up. Like I’m talking linen and sky and meadows and rain and spring and renewal and apple blossoms. So sometimes, when I want to feel like a girl I spray some in the air and then I walk into it. And if we can just have a heart to heart real fast let me just tell you it makes me feel like a princess.

So yeah, enough about the fact I smell. And more about this week.

It was wonderful. Like first of all, for the very first time I felt that things were really going well in the classroom. Which is a whole story in itself so it shall be its own blog later.

Also, there’s the food I ate.

Let me explain to you how much I love guacamole.

Basically if I was stranded on an island and could only eat one thing for the rest of my life it would be guacamole. And ice cream. And chocolate covered coffee beans.

And goldfish.

Anyways so Miguel came up to me all seriously the other day and was all like, “Darian I need to talk to you.” And I was all like, “Oh my goodness I’m getting sent home what did I do.” And then he was all like, “I have four avocados in my house. Will you go make guacamole?”

And then the heavens opened and that big Alleluia song played and there was leaping for joy and stuff.

So yeah. I ate guacamole this week and it was fabulous. Also I ate honey. And a mango. And homemade chocolate from cocoa beans that Candace patiently dried out in the sun(she’s just so wonderful). And tonight I drank some coconut cinnamon  drink thing that made me wonder if I was dreaming.

So yeah I probably need to go exercise a lot and stuff but it all tasted great.

The other good news is my Spanish is improving some. I have a bigger vocabulary now and I think my grammar might have reached the level of a two-year-old.

Also, thanks to Dani, I discovered last night that “corro” does not mean run. It’s more like saying “I run.” So then everything made sense. I cannot tell you how many times I have been going to Casa Grande trying to speed up one of my boys who was running late. I’ll look at them and say “corro” and they will just stare at me. So then I get annoyed because they’re refusing to run and so I say it louder and louder until eventually I’m yelling “CORRO” and finally they pick up the pace. So now I’m pretty sure they eventually run because they’re like whoa who is this crazy American chick who keeps screaming nonsense at me. Get away fast.

I shall henceforth remember the word corre.

There’s a boy here named Armando who pretty much refuses to smile at me. A couple days ago during work I asked him to clean the desks and he was not too compliant. I don’t really know what to do as I don’t have a whole lot of words and if I smile at him he just looks annoyed.

Friday night when we go around and hug everyone and I reach my arms out he always throws out his hand in an effort to not hug me. If I go ahead and hug him anyways he says, “Oh Teacher” as if I’m killing him.

So tonight when I reached him in line, I started to reach out my hand, fully expecting a handshake.

This kid wrapped his arms around me in the biggest hug, and didn’t let go for quite some time. It melted my heart.

These kids amaze me. Every time I am feeling tired or discouraged or over it, a kid does something so unnecessary that wakes me up and helps me realize my goodness I am not here for myself. I am here for you.

The kids are supposed to be out of study hall at Casa Grande by 8 pm. So usually the boys end up getting home around 8:05 or so. But somehow last night Dani and I lost track of time and at 8:30 we realized the boys still weren’t back.

I walked over to Casa Grande, honestly exhausted and not to happy about the fact they hadn’t come home. And there they were, all sitting together at the table, drawing pictures to give as gifts to the staff. I told them they needed to wrap it up as it was time to go, but then naturally they just needed to do “one more thing.”

Which turned into a big thing and a lot of time. Some had to draw something else and then a whole bunch wanted help writing the name of the teacher on the paper whom they drew it for. Part of me really wanted to encourage them to do this as it was really sweet and thoughtful but honestly the bigger part of me just wanted to go to bed.

So then I was like, “No. You’re done. Put everything away now.”

I was frustrated and exhausted and not feeling too patient.

And then little Hugo looked up at me with his sweet little angel face and said, “Can you write Darian on this?”

And so I took his pencil and wrote “Teacher Darian” on his little drawing and I walked home holding a gift and Hugo’s hand.

Juan Carlos is adorable and precious and constantly asking me for food. The other day I was drinking a glass of soymilk and he came over to me and said, “You are my mother.” It was so sweet and I’m trying to convince myself it had nothing to do with the soymilk.

I love how everywhere I look the kids have their arms around each other. And it doesn’t matter who the kids are. It can be one of the oldest boys with little 5-year old Maribel. In fact, sometimes I just watch her go from kid to kid. And they all let her climb all over them as she giggles and laughs and reaches out her little hands to play.

I watch as the girls feed little Janette who is eight years old but can’t walk on her own and still has trouble holding up her head.

I watch Wilfredo take care of Hugo, his little brother, with such genuine concern day after day.

And I know that I don’t see everything. And even from what I do see, I know these kids fight and get upset with each other and say hurtful things. But then they get back up. They try again. They reach their hand back out and they look forward.

As a staff, I love how we start each morning singing together and praying together and talking about what we can do to make a bigger difference in the lives of these kids. Although at times we have differences in opinion, we are all here for the same purpose and so we walk together.

I love the community and the dependence and the trust.  

I love how it’s not about finishing first but making sure everyone finishes.

And goodness. I hope to always live in a place with people who look at life as a journey and not a race.