October 29
A lot has gone down.
Dani and I, along with our little childrens, experienced
some plumbing problems. And by plumbing problems I mean our house was in chaos.
For one, our toilet has been struggling for a while to keep
its head above water. Literally. Sometimes it flushes. But by sometimes I mean
rarely. Or quite possibly never. To be honest I gave up using that little
darling a long time ago. Don’t worry I still go to the bathroom. I just make
the journey to Candace and Courtney’s house.
It just kept getting worse and worse. Until finally we made
the executive decision that BOYS LISTEN NOONE USES THAT TOILET. EVER. Because,
to be brutally honest, IT WAS GROSS.
And so Andrew did the kind and daring task of digging a
giant hole in our front yard (as it was flooding because a pipe underneath the
ground had a giant leak) and repairing the leaking pipe. Which made it even
more clear that no. We could not use our toilet.
Then one night I took a shower and was realizing that my
shower was somewhat turning into a foot bath as the entire bathroom was
suddenly filled with like three inches of water. And low and behold then we
realized our shower drain was clogged.
By morning it had gone down, but when we reattempted using
the shower? Well, it happened again.
You know when you’re like oh yeah all the evidence shows it’s definitely clogged but maybe if I
just shower one more time and hope really hard and look down the drain and
whisper kind words to it the water will go down? Yeah. Doesn’t work.
So Dani and I were all like well okay. Now we can’t shower
in our house either. But phew. At least we’ve got a sink.
Yeah. Until one day someone used the sink and suddenly water
is literally bubbling up out of the shower drain and our entire house is
flooding.
So now I shall describe to you what goes down when our house
floods.
If you’re picturing those really cute machines that suck up
water like you get at the dentist? Except a lot bigger as hopefully our house
is bigger than your mouth? Well, go ahead and get that picture out of your
head.
It’s more like we get dustpans (which don’t have poles by
the way as our little boys are constantly taking the poles out of the dustpans
and out of the brooms and doing, well, honestly I have no idea what with them)
and bending over and scooping the water into buckets and then emptying the
buckets outside and bringing them back in to fill up with gross water again.
Meanwhile someone else is on guard with a squeegee in our room, constantly
pushing the water out that is so desperately trying to come in and destroy all
our stuff as our room is directly next to the bathroom.
And I’m sure this sounds like a really fun and enjoyable
experience, but honestly by the third time in a day I’m pretty over it.
Especially when we finally get all the water out and then my brain decides to
be a genious and a half and is all like “Darian you should wash the sink” and
I’m all like oh yeah great idea! And then I wash the sink. And then I hear
water bubbling up from the shower drain. And then I’m all like
Oh. Probably shouldn’t have washed the sink.
So yeah. I don’t know if I’m eighty or what but bending over
with my back and scooping up water kind of makes me think I might die.
Dani and I desperately tried to make it an enjoyable
experience.
We tried the optimism attempt: blasting Frozen music through
the house and being all like wow this is
fun!
We tried the denial attempt: Everything is perfect. I love
scooping dirty water into buckets. Oh dear drain, please flood my house again.
We also tried the reality attempt: I hate this. I can’t.
In fact, little Wilfredo kind of picked up on it as one
time, when the drain started bubbling up, I heard him shout through the house,
“OH. MY. WORD.” (He speaks Spanish so that’s pretty funny, in case you didn’t
get it.)
But the reality is your house flooding a million times a day
and not having a toilet, or a shower, or a sink, or sanity, is kind of sad.
So we moved.
Across the way (which is my fancy way of saying a few
hundred feet from where we first lived) is a house that is not used. The reason
being the roof leaks, so when it rains all your stuff gets wet. Miguel used to
live there and loved it, but had to move as it was soaking all the stuff in his
bedroom and needed repairing.
But since it was pretty much our only option unless we
disrupted everyone else’s living arrangements, this is where we ended up.
Okay so I have been in this house before. I saw it in March
and earlier this year Kevin and I cleaned it with our work crew. But somehow I
remained unaware of its beautiful bounty.
So now we are moved in and I am going to tell you all the
wonderful things I love about our new house. Be prepared because I’m livin the
dream.
Its tile. Like I touch it with my bare feet.
There is no ceiling below the roof so sometimes I mistake it
for a mansion.
The walls are nice. And tannish.
And then there is the big news. Like brace yourself.
DANI AND I HAVE OUR OWN BATHROOM.
Like our own toilet. And shower. And as soon as it is put in
we will also have our own sink.
I’m not going to lie, the first time I took a shower in
there I almost cried. Like for cereal. It’s that exciting.
We even have a new shower head. And yeah it spews out cold
water but to be honest I love cold showers. You should try it. And if you like
it I’ll trade you for your hot shower.
Also our room is just way bigger. It’s super spacious. And
we decorated it and made it homey and put pictures everywhere and basically I
am living the dream.
Like every time I walk to my house I feel like skipping. And
singing. And shouting IF I NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM I SHALL BECAUSE I HAVE MY
VERY OWN IN MY VERY OWN ROOM WOW I LOVE EVERYTHING.
So yeah. That’s one of the many things that have gone down.
And to be honest one of my favorites.
Miguel said we are only living here for three weeks, until
summer break starts. Because they have to repair it and stuff.
But I’m going to go with the denial attempt on this one and just
say this is where I will be chillin for the next big while cuz I’m digging it.
I hope you keep the house. Glad you're digging it! I dig your blogs.
ReplyDeletei laughed the whole way through your blog. hahaha. this was hilarious. you're the best. i am so glad you get to poop and pee in your very own functional bathroom! LOVE YOU!
ReplyDeleteOverflowing, clogged or blocked toilet is a messy problem. Worse still when doubled with blocked sewerage. Overflow inside or outside the sewerage system results to bad odour, and some things fail to flush. Avoid flushing the toilet and turn off the water from the source. This problem needs urgent attention and it is advisable that you call for professional help.
ReplyDelete