Forever

October 6

What is life without children all over you?

What is life without waking up to rain pouring down so hard you can’t fall back to sleep?

What is life without cockroaches? Everywhere.

What is life without little girls and boys running over to you, throwing their arms around you, looking up into your eyes and saying, “Tu es mi Mama.”

My life here is full of so much love. Every day.

Last night I put the boys to bed. It was Wednesday, so we had just finished having worship altogether in the church. As soon as we got back to the house I had the boys brush their teeth and told them to get in their beds as soon as they were done. Then I started going to each bed to hug and kiss them goodnight.

As soon as I walked over to Henry’s bed, I noticed that he had blood all over his face and hands. Poor boy had a bloody nose and wasn’t saying anything about it. I told him to go wait in my room and I’d help him as soon as I told everyone else goodnight. I walked over to Fermin’s bed. And of course, since he knew that Henry might get a bandaid, he was desperate to go to my room as well in case he might get one.

Fermin. Loves. Bandaids.

He (as always) had a sore on his foot, so I told him he could get some Neosporin, but that was it. He excitedly went to my room.

I finished tucking everyone else in and turned off the lights. Then I headed to my room to help little Henry and Fermin.

I wasn’t there for two minutes when I looked at my doorway to see all my boys (other than Gabriel who must have fallen asleep) desperately looking in. “Bandaid, Teacher? Please?”

I told them I didn’t have that many left, and they only needed a bandaid if they were bleeding because bandaids don’t just make the pain go away. But they don’t seem to understand this. I’m pretty sure if they cut their leg off they’d come ask me for a bandaid and then go finish their day.

But even after I said this, they asked for only medicine, Teacher. Only medicine. Please?

You know, there are times when I just want to close the door, turn off the lights and crawl into my tent. I’m tired and just want to go to sleep.

But then? There are nights like last night, when I look around to see seven little brown-eyed boys who crawled out of bed and walked to my door just to see if they could get a bandaid.

And I give in.

And so last night I sat in a circle with my boys and I applied a whole lot of Neosporin to a whole lot of little wounds. I don’t know how much it is going to help, if any. But I just sat there, putting Neosporin onto their little sores thinking oh my goodness I have no idea what I am doing what even is Neosporin but wow I wouldn’t trade this for anything.

The other day the boys’ rooms were an absolute disaster. I mean the house was a wreck. Dani and I told the boys they weren’t allowed to eat seconds for the day, hoping it would teach them the importance of keeping the house clean.

Goodness. It breaks a little boy’s heart when you take away his food.

Of course, after that the house was spotless the entire day. I mean they prided themselves in their neatly folded clothes and straight shoes and little toys being all lined up.

So that night? I decided to recognize them for how clean it was.

“Oh my goodness! Boys! Come, come! Look!”

I basically freaked out over how clean one of the rooms was. And these little boys? They started jumping up and down frantically screaming “Tomorrow, too! Teacher! Tomorrow, too!”

Their room wasn’t clean the next day, but hey, it was an exciting thought.

I’m basically trying to say that I live in a house with eight little boys who have stolen my heart. They’re babies. Oh my goodness.

And I love them.

It’s crazy to think that in just a month and a half all these boys are going to go home for the summer. I can’t imagine being here without them.

I also hope I don’t forget what it is like to live with them. Especially after I go back to America. I hope I don’t forget what it is like to be a mom.

And that’s something that always frightens me a little bit. I feel like these are my boys. They are my kids. And so it is hard to accept that I am going to leave and they are going to keep on living here so far away. I know it is literally going to break my heart in two.

But I’m thankful. I am so thankful I have this time with them. I love walking to Casa Grande and hearing a little boy running a few feet behind me and then feeling him throw his arms around me or grab my hand and then we walk the rest of the way together.

I love when Luis Migel hikes his pants up too high.

I love when Fermin lays in his bed at night and says, “Benga, Teacher! Benga!” so he can hug me until I force him to let me go.

I love when Hugo throws his arms behind his back and runs around like he’s an airplane.

I love when Gabriel looks at me with his mouth hanging open and his eyes wide and just has the blankest stare in the world.

I love when Rodrigo runs around playing with a stick and a wheel for a longer amount of time than I would think that could entertain anyone.

I love when Wilfredo breaks out his weird dance moves or just drops down into the splits in the middle of the house at the most unexpected times.

I love when Ronald sits next to me and puts my arm around him and just cuddles.

I love when Henry does his little boy giggle and tucks his arms into his chest as I give him a million kisses.

I love them all. So so much. They have my heart forever.